How understanding ourselves transforms the way we connect with others
Have you ever stopped to think about the role of relationships in our lives, or how your relationships could become deeper, more understanding, and more harmonious? I delved into this topic and came across a study from Harvard University that has been ongoing for over 80 years. This study explores what truly brings happiness to life, and one of its main conclusions is that meaningful relationships are key to happiness and fulfillment.
But if relationships are so beneficial and important, why are they sometimes so difficult? Why do we often have more tolerance at work or with friends than with the ones closest to us? I have learned that understanding our inner world is the first step in strengthening our relationships and becoming better individuals. Logosophy teaches that understanding our inner world — our thoughts, purposes, and feelings — is the essential first step toward improving our external reality. I have found two
specific images from these teachings particularly helpful in my own journey.
The first image suggests that “in general, every person expects from others, if not everything, at least ninety percent and considers excessive the ten percent one gives.” [1] This selfish attitude often leads to placing responsibility on others and changing this mindset is paramount. The image continues with the following teaching: “It is advisable and preferable therefore that people give one hundred percent of what is expected of them. This gives them the opportunity to be of service to their own selves, and by exceeding this percentage, can be of service to their fellowman.” [1]
After observing myself and recollecting my past, I began asking: Am I truly giving my 100% on all occasions? Am I taking responsibility and doing my part? These reflections have protected me in many situations, preventing unnecessary and selfish attitudes and leading me to offer whatever possible to nurture my relations.
The second image portrays humans as incomplete that need to be complemented by fragments we find in others: “This happens to every one, whether rich or poor, ugly or beautiful. Some possess what others lack, and what lacks in some, others possess, and this goes on successively” [1] . However, the major issue arises when we compare these fragments . Instead of being inspired by others, many people claim that what they have is better than what they lack, missing the opportunity to complete themselves.
Growing up with two brothers close to my age, our house was always full of energy and teenage bravado. One day, my son asked me when I finally stopped fighting with them. I told him it happened the moment I started respecting them—when I truly saw their strengths and the character they had. That shift changed everything; it inspired me to stop competing and start being a better brother, arguing less and building stronger trust among us.
Marriage is another special situation. It is one of the most transcendental experiences in life, bringing out both the best and the not-so-nice aspects of ourselves. It requires attention and care to avoid falling into routine. Logosophy states that two main elements keep love in marriage pure and fresh: “The first one is affection, which being less impulsive than passion, ensures its durability … The second one, which is as indispensable as the first, is our ability to dignify ourselves in the eyes of the loved one.” [2] Watching my wife’s constant efforts to better herself has been a true inspiration. Learning from her has not only deepened my self-knowledge but has also transformed our relationship, lifting it to a higher level of mutual growth and admiration.
Once I stopped believing that my own qualities were superior to those of others, life became much more interesting. Today, I am far happier and more fulfilled than in years past. By applying these and other teachings of Logosophy, I have been learning to build truly lasting bonds — a path of knowledge that remains open to anyone seeking to cultivate their own inner growth.
About the Author
Flavio Guimarães is the Director of the Logosophical Foundation in the United States and Canada and a dedicated student of Logosophy. He writes about personal development, education, and conscious evolution, drawing inspiration from his own journey of self-betterment through the study and practice of Logosophical Science.
Bibliography
[1] González Pecotche, C.B. An Introduction to Logosophical Cognition. Logosófica, p. 193.
[2] González Pecotche, C.B. Mr. De Sándara. Logosófica, p. 214.
